Why I Smile
by cgal120
Summary: Amelia goes day to day with a smile on her face. But she has a gift no one knows about - she can turn the world black and white and see Shards - sad emotions in the form of coloured glass which she can remove to take the emotion away at that moment. But there's one person she can't take a Shard from so she makes it her mission to make Arthur Kirkland smile. UKxFem!US. Nyotalia.
1. The Starting Post

**Why I Smile**

**Chapter One**

**The Starting Post**

My bus was late.

It just had to be late on my very first day of college. I mean, it's not like I was nervous enough as it was but then the stupid bus had to be late. Admittedly, it was on ten minutes late and I was getting the early bus but still! I was getting the early bus for a reason! I wanted to actually get to college before I needed to be there so that I could find the room I had to be in and maybe find a couple of my friends for moral support.

But it was late. This meant that I had the joy of sitting around by myself at the bus stop, my headphones in my ears trying to block out the noise of the moronic children making their way to school. Honestly, Year Sevens have always and will always be the worst group of children to ever walk across the Earth. I watched subtly, glancing over the top of my iPod as a group of Year Seven boys rode and walked along the street across from where I was sat.

One of the boys was on a bright yellow bike, standing up on the peddles and looking behind him as the other three boys play-fought.

"You're a dick!" shouted one of the boys. And thus began some eye-rolling from me. The kid was eleven-years-old and he was swearing. I know that swearing is just a part of life and, hell, I've muttered the C-word every now and then when I thought no one was listening but there are just things you don't do when you're eleven-years-old. And that is one of them. But it was Year Seven World and saying words like 'dick' and 'arse' made you look cool amongst the other children in your peer group. Just wait for Year Eight! They've learnt how to say 'wanker'… and start to figure out what a wanker actually is.

I could see why they were so hyped up as they headed for a junction, the boy on the bike speeding across the road as the others followed him and narrowly missed getting hit by a car. They all had energy drinks in their hands – all colours of magical energy giving chemicals bobbing around in their stupid hands and giving them more energy than boys there age should need. Like I said, they were eleven! You should have a natural high at eleven years old; fuck, I know that I definitely did. So what was it with these kids and buying shit like that – surely they must realise just how bad it was for them…

That was where I stopped that train of thought because of course they knew how bad it was for them – everyone knew how bad it was for them – but did anyone do anything about it? No. Would they ever? No.

I also had to realise that they had been back at school longer than I had even been in college so they were probably tired from all the induction work that they had to do. I remembered my first day of secondary school we had a science themed day and got to build rockets. It was fucking amazing.

It was the sixteenth of September, a warm day with the sun beating down on the tarmac of the road and giving it a more enhanced smell of burnt rubber. I stuffed my iPod back into my pocket and folded my arms under my chest, heaving out a sigh and closing my eyes behind my sunglasses. I liked the warm weather but knowing that it was going to be gone by the time I got out of classes was very depressing. Whatever sick fuck decided that it was a good idea to give a group of sixteen-year-old's fourteen weeks of summer holidays needed to be locked in a dark room for a year. It was just pure cruelty to give someone of my age that much freedom and then take it away so suddenly and thrust us back into the routine of having to get up early in the morning…

And I mean _early_…

I was waiting for the half-past-seven bus to take me out of the village centre to the industrial estate on the furthest side west of where I was now. I'd been awake since half-past-five getting ready and eating my breakfast before my mother actually let me out of the house – she fussed a lot so I had to run to the bus stop to save myself from being late.

Ironically, the bus was still late.

I didn't need to be on campus until nine o'clock but like I said before, I wanted to be early so I could actually find my way around…

Checking the clock on my iPod, I exhaled heavily as I realised that I had been sat around waiting for fifteen minutes when in the distance I saw the blue, white and orange vehicle chugging its way along the road towards me. With a sigh of relief, I got to my feet and made my way to the curb, holding my arm out and waving to the bus driver to stop. When he did, I showed him my bus pass and made my way to a seat near the back.

For a bus that was late it was very quiet. There were only two other passengers – some weirdo guy with hipster glasses and a Costa coffee reading the Independent newspaper and an old woman who I prayed to God was actually asleep and not dead…

With the song on my iPod changing to _Fuck You_ by Cee Lo Green, I flopped down in the rightmost seat at the very back of the bus, put my feet up on the seat beside me and hid my head in my phone. The bus driver was this elderly guy with a red face and thick glasses so it was no wonder he was going so slow – the old lady had probably been my age when she had first got on the bus.

Slowly but surely we made our way past one of the four pubs in the village, through the shopping centre and the flats, past another shopping and housing estate until we got to the stop outside my best friend's house. I only registered that we were there when I felt a slap on my calf and jumped, my head shooting up to look at whoever it was that had invaded my personal space. But I calmed down when I saw the smirking face of my friend Lovina.

Long brown hair tied into a braid that hung over her left shoulder and sadistic olive green eyes glittering with happiness at scaring me, Lovina grinned innocently as she sat down opposite me on the other end of the back row. I rolled my eyes and sat up a bit more, pulling out one of my headphones and shaking my head at her.

"You're a bitch sometimes," I said, letting her get over her laughing fit as she lost control. Sometimes I wondered why I was even friends with her, but then again I could ask the same of her for me. We were perfectly messed up in the most beautiful ways.

"You should read the signs," Lovina smirked, still laughing sardonically. My music changed to _Who's Laughing Now_ by Jessie J. Fucking shuffle mode… "You see that one up there? _Don't put your feet on the seats_? No?"

"I do what I want," I replied, smirking back at her. She laughed again. I had known Lovina since the beginning of Year Seven, right the way back when saying 'dick' was an amazing achievement to the rebel cause. She'd always been sarcastic and erratic – hell, she knew worse swear words than me back then but I never _never_ told my mother about that. She'd have kept me away from her for sure. Five years had passed and there we were slumped at the back of a bus heading to college and I felt nostalgic.

"Amelia, did you finish that book I challenged you to read?"

We did that a lot – book challenges were our thing; we'd pick a different book for the month and set it for the other to read. For August, I'd set her on the task of reading _Daughter of Smoke and Bone_ by Laini Taylor whilst she'd set me the task of reading _Ready Player One_ by Earnest Cline. My book was about a video game world so naturally I finished it pretty quickly.

"Hell yeah, I did!" I grinned. "Pretty epic story. What did you think of _DoSaB_?"

"I have to admit, I was pretty impressed," Lovina said, nodding her head. She had a look of surprised approval on her face – I'd not given her a bad book yet so I don't know what she was expecting. "So, this month's books! Have you picked yet? I mean, we're late as it is…"

"Yeah, I was gonna text you it the other day but I got tied up with… um…"

"I get it," Lovina replied, nodding her head understandingly. "Alfred comes first."

I nodded, rubbing my hands awkwardly against my calves. "Anyway, this month I challenge you to read… _Divergent_ by Veronica Roth."

"_The Great Gatsby_ by F. Scott Fitzgerald."

"Ooh, a classic~!"

We laughed and I looked past her through the window and watched as the strawberry fields went past as we picked up some speed finally. I could see the ocean too and longed to go back to the beach and sit on the stones and watch the waves again…

Needing a change of subject, I looked back at Lovina and smiled. "So, where's Felicia then?"

"She's taking cooking, history and art classes," Lovina yawned. "Boring right? I mean, it's not like she's already insanely good at all of that stuff anyways…"

Lovina had always been touchy about her younger-twin sister, Felicia; I was on good terms with both of them, but Felicia was definitely the happier of the two. She could be a little dense sometimes and very cowardly but she had a heart of gold and was very talented in practically everything she did. Unlike Lovina who had to try very hard to even get out of bed in the morning… The one thing that Lovina excelled in more than Felicia was reading – you give Felicia a book and she wouldn't be able to get through it without falling asleep, Lovina on the other hand could be handed a book and read it like nothing else was going on in the world around her.

She and I had decided to take up A-Level English Literature and BTEC Creative Media at college, that first day being our induction. Because we had taken an A-Level alongside a BTEC course we had to spend the majority of the day with the BTEC group before heading over to the English block to get introduced to our lecturer over there. The only problem was the campus for Benson College was fucking ginormous so we needed enough time to figure out where everything was…

* * *

We got off the bus with plenty of time to spare so walked through the main gates of the campus and looked at the other students who were making their ways to classes. Benson College was an impressive set of buildings spanning across two sides of the road. Each specialised within each subject, some subjects in the same building but on different floors. Not to mention the four cafés that dotted the campus grounds, 2 on each side of the road, and the large canteen and Student Union area.

There were two colleges in Krawley Village and Benson was the best by far – I had said from day one that I would go to this place and I felt a small sense of proud shoot through me as I walked through the reception area and looked at all the artwork on the wall and the photos of past students labelling their success as examples of what we could achieve one day.

Lovina was picking at her bag strap as we walked along and I knew it was because she was nervous – she could be just as cowardly as her sister sometimes but she always managed to keep up a sarcastic sense of humour to counter it. However, at that moment she didn't seem as though she was able to think of anything witty to say. I couldn't blame her – I was getting overwhelmed too.

Thankfully there were maps of the building plastered the walls every so often marking where we were and where we could go. We were North Building and needed to be in the East Building for Media so hurried on our way, dodging around other students. I saw the hipster guy walking around with another cup of coffee and wondered just how much caffeine he was able to drink before running around in circles like a bugged video game character.

Finally, we got to the building and went to the classroom that had been listed on the induction letter we'd been sent. Room 976 on the first floor. I could see a small blonde haired woman with thick-rimmed glasses walking towards the room we needed so hurried after her, slowing down so that it didn't seem like we were about to charge her into the classroom. She looked round and blinked at the sight of his, sipping from the mug of tea in her hands and smiling.

"Are you girls here for the induction day?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied, a little out of breath.

"You're very early," she smiled. "Nervous?"

"Very," replied Lovina. I could see her hands shaking now.

"It's always terrifying starting something new," the lady said, ushering us gently into the room. We sat down at two Macs on the right hand side of the room and watched as she turned on the very first Mac and loaded up a projector to show a PowerPoint. God, it was going to be one of _those_ inductions…

"Lovina gets scared of her own shadow so…" I smirked, laughing as she elbowed me. "Easy, Tiger."

"Fuck you," Lovina said, poking her tongue out.

The woman chuckled and shook her head. "Well, I'm June and I'm going to be your Tutor for the next two years. At least, if you're in my class that is."

"Huh?"

"There are so many people taking Media this year that we've had to double the size of the groups when we split them in half," June explained. "So, there will be two classes of eighteen. Let me see… You said Lovina, right?"

"That's right," she said.

"Lovina… Lovina Vargas?"

"Yep!"

"You're on my list," June chuckled. "And your name?"

"Amelia. Amelia Jones," I smiled.

"Let's see… Hmm… You're here too!"

"Sweet!" I grinned.

June explained what would be going on that day and where we needed to go for all of five minutes at one o'clock to meet our English Lit teacher then moved over to the Mac to flick through the presentation one more time. Lovina and I sat in an awkward silence, glancing at the clock every so often to see if the time had moved on any further. As it got closer to nine o'clock, more people started to join us in the classroom – Maria Beilschmidt, another Krawley Park Secondary School survivor; a boy with thick brown curls and tanned skin; a Japanese girl with a flower pinned in her hair; Francis Bonnefoy, a guy I'd met at a swimming competition a year or so ago; and Arthur Kirkland.

Arthur Kirkland had gone to the same school as me for as long as I could remember. He was sarcastic, solitary and smart. He had an answer for everything but not as many friends as he had comebacks… I sometimes felt sorry for him, but as much as I tried to be nice we had this kind of banter between us that mainly consisted of half-hearted insults. I counted him as a friend even though he didn't really seem to return the feeling.

Still, there he was – messy blonde hair, green eyes and constant scowl – sitting down opposite me without looking away from the book he had been reading as he walked into the room. I sighed softly – he really hadn't changed at all.

* * *

An hour and a half later we had been let out on break and my head was spinning already. There was so much to take in – all the rules, the fucking lime green lanyards, we had to get our ID cards after break, here were our timetables, etc. – and I wasn't the only one overwhelmed.

I stood in the hallway with Lovina watching as the others left the room and wandered aimlessly out into the hallway – some people heading outside for a smoke whilst others took the chance to go get something to eat. I looked at Lovina who was sat on the floor beside me with her head on her knees; she was rocking slightly and breathing oddly. Then I realised she was having a panic attack.

Looking around us, I knelt down in front of her and tried to get her to look at me but she wouldn't lift her head. She'd done this a couple of times before when she got too stressed out over something – I couldn't get through to her, no one could, and I knew it was only a matter of time before she attracted unwanted attention…

Sighing quietly, I closed my eyes and clicked my fingers. When I opened my eyes, the world was black and white and everything and everyone was moving slower. Attached to the green-now-grey headband on Lovina's head was a shard of teal blue glass.

I guess now would be a good place to explain what the hell is going on…

* * *

_**Notes:**_

**And so I start a series that I really, really want to work on!**

**I'm gonna take this one way more seriously than any of have before because I have plans, my friends.**

**And don't worry, there is a meaning for the ending right there. Pacing is key!**

**Questions will be answered and things will make sense eventually!**

**Anyways, I'm planning on this being a mix of contemporary and fantasy and I have so many twists and turns planned out so I hope you get on board and help me out with pointers and such! Like, if you see a spelling mistake – point it out so I can go in and change it!**

**Until next time!**

**DFTBA!**


	2. An Introduction Of My Brother

**Why I Smile**

**Chapter Two**

**An Introduction Of My Brother**

I looked around me and made sure that no one had noticed anything had happened. It wasn't the first time that I'd had to do something like this for Lovina, but it was still a worry whenever I used this gift in public. I never really knew what to expect when I used it – it slowed the world down and kept me at the same speed, but if I ever forgot to check one day then I could get into some serious trouble.

Lovina was still hyperventilating, though it looked really peculiar watching it happen in slow motion. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut causing lines to form in the corners of her eyes, her nostrils kept flaring with every intake of breath that she took and her fingers were clenching and unclenching against the fabric of her jeans.

For roughly a year I had been able to do this little magic trick. I didn't really understand where it came from or how I could do it, but it had proven to be a handy little tool over the short amount of time I had learnt to control it in.

You see, I had entered a void – a new dimension in which everything was the same but there was no colour, the speed was slower and no one could see me. It was fascinating wandering around in that state because I could watch people and observe how they behaved before stepping back into the coloured world and continuing as though nothing had ever happened. I'd be lying if I said that I never used the power to my advantage – like walking away from someone that was annoying me or pulling a prank on someone.

Really, it was only Arthur that I pulled pranks on and they were harmless. I would just slow down time and walk up behind him before speeding time up and saying 'hi'. He always jumped so hard and spun around to look at me annoyed. It was satisfying on the days when he decided to act like a major cock. I never let anyone know about the power though because I didn't know how they would react. I mean, I could always trust Lovina with anything but I hadn't even told her about this. It just wasn't something that I could bring up in a normal conversation and seem sane about – especially when it occurred around the time that Alfred…

Okay, before I well up typing this I should probably backtrack a little. For me to probably get you to understand what the heck is going on with me I need to take this chapter back a year and a half. I need to tell you about my brother.

* * *

I sat in my bedroom tucked up in bed. I was running a fever and had vomited twice that day. It was the middle of June, the twenty-ninth, only three days away from a major swimming competition I was entered in. I was trying my hardest to make a full recovery because I needed to be a part of the tourney…

Nothing was worse than being sick in June – the weather was getting warmer and sun was shining in through my window and heating my room even more. I hated it – Mom kept saying that I needed to sweat out the virus, but I wasn't even sure that that was a viable medical option anymore… Had it ever been? I had no idea. Mom wouldn't let me out from underneath the covers and had left me my PS3 controller, the TV remote and my phone right next to me on my bedside table so that I wouldn't have to move. I was watching _Scrubs_ on Netflix, only just managing to smile because I was so drowsy from flu medication and the dense heat.

I was angry with myself for getting sick so close to the tourney, especially when I needed to go for training before. That was meant to be that evening, but I was in no fit state to go anywhere which sucked. I could hear people talking out on the landing and grumbled to myself before looking at my door as it was slowly opened.

I forced a smile onto my face when my father poked his head through the gap he had just made and smiled at me, not letting me see any part of his body, just his head. His smile turned into a goofy grin and I couldn't help but return it properly.

"Hi, Daddy," I said, coughing slightly due to the roughness of my throat.

"Hi, Baby," he replied, keeping behind the door. "You feeling better?"

"Nah, Floating Head," I groaned. "No… My stomach keeps lurching and my head is spinning… I feel drowsy and withdrawn but I can't get to sleep for the life of me… This sucks ass…"

Dad chuckled softly and walked into my room properly, sitting down on the edge of my bed and pressing his hand to my forehead lightly. "Wow, you are still very hot…" he said, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration. My Dad was a history teacher at one of the local high schools – thankfully, not the one that I went to or I would have had to kill him. He was funny and dorky, but he did worry about me a little more than I would have liked him to.

"I'm sure I'll be fine before the tourney," I said, yawning slightly. "I just feel like crap right now."

"Hmm…" he said, smoothing my fringe out of my eyes. "We need to keep you hydrated though or you won't get better fast…" He stood up and picked up my empty glass from my bedside table, giving me a once over before heading out of the room and downstairs. I sighed softly and flopped back, rubbing my hands over my face and groaning into them. I hated being sick… I wasn't ill often but when it did hit me I was knocked for six…

Dad came back pretty quickly and set the glass down on the table again. I hadn't taken my hands away from my face so that only added to his worry. "Amie, are you sure you're okay? If we need to get you to a doctor then say…"

"I'm fine, Dad," I said, finally pulling my hands away from my face so that my voice wasn't muffled. I gave him a weak grin and sat up a little to drink my water. He watched me to make sure I wasn't about to throw up or pass out or both, then nodded and kissed the top of my head. "Alfred's still going to training tonight?"

"Yeah," he said, stretching. "Mom decided to stay home with you though so you'll have some company. Alfred just… he really wants this tourney under his belt, you know?"

"I know…" I replied, refraining from rolling my eyes. "I'm entered in the female category, remember…"

"Baby, I know," he said. "But…"

"No buts," I sighed. It was always like this when it came to any kind of competition or desire Alfred and I had – my parents always supported Alfred before they supported me. I was used to it by now but that it didn't mean that it didn't still hurt when they took his dreams more seriously than mine. He only got into swimming because I loved going so much and he wanted to see what all the fuss was about! Mom let him tag along one day and he didn't stop! But I couldn't be rude to them no matter how much I wanted to, so I looked up at him and smiled as best I could. "Look, Dad, don't sweat it… Just get him to the centre and come back okay. I'll show you that cool trick I learnt with Photoshop tomorrow if you want."

He knew what I was trying to do so patted my arm and kissed my head. "I'll see you in the morning, Baby," he said, standing up and walking over to my door. He glanced over his shoulder at me as he opened it, smiling at me as I settled back down in my covers. Dad left quietly but he was soon replaced by Alfred who sauntered in with that always-bright smile of his and happy air.

Alfred was my twin brother, but he was older than me by twenty minutes and he never let me forget it. He was tall and blonde, the same shade as me and Mom, and his eyes were the same shade of blue as mine and Dad's. He was fairly muscular due to all the swimming he did and he had his backpack slung over his shoulder casually as he leant on the doorframe and looked at me.

"You alright, Sis?" he asked me gently. I never could stay mad at Alfred – not even when I was feeling jealous or angry or anything else. He always had this way of making me feel okay; it wasn't his fault our parents never really took an interested in my dreams so why should I take it out on him? I wasn't that vindictive.

"Not really but there's not much I can do about it," I said, shrugging my shoulders. He walked further into the room and sat down on the end of the bed, looking at my TV and laughing at one of JD's daydreams. I chuckled too, rubbing my head and laying back a little more. "Don't forget to focus on the breast stroke tonight. That's your weakest style and you know you'll get tested on it."

"I won't forget," Alfred said, turning around so that he could look at me properly. "Thanks though… And you just focus on getting better! I want to be stood next to you with gold medals around both our necks on Sunday."

"I'll do my best, Chief," I chuckled, giving him a salute. Alfred rolled his eyes fondly and shoved my shoulder lightly.

"You're a dumbass sometimes," he chuckled, shaking his head. "But I guess that comes with the territory of being the younger sibling."

"Only by twenty minutes!" I said, pouting. "I'm sure you held me back and used me as leverage to get out first. It has to be the only way!"

Alfred laughed. "You really are a dumbass."

"You love me for it," I smiled.

"I do, Sis," Alfred chuckled, ruffling my hair. He looked at the time and got up. "Well, I'll see you later! Oh! And I haven't been able to text Lovina back yet… Would you be able to if you get the chance…?"

"Do I wanna know what it was about?"

"Eh… Maybe not…" Alfred said, rubbing the back of his neck and grinning bashfully.

"Sexting my best friend…" I said, shaking my head in mock disappointment.

"She usually initiates it."

"I'm not actually surprised by that," I laughed. "Mind you, she sends me dirty texts occasionally so you better watch out~."

Barking out one more laugh, Alfred shook his head and walked out my room. I leant my head back as the door closed behind him with a soft click and closed my eyes.

* * *

Mom shook me awake after what felt like minutes of sleeping. In actuality, when I looked at my clock, it had been five hours. I coughed and looked up at her in shock, worrying spreading from my chest through to the very tips of my being as I saw her eyes wide with anguish.

All thoughts of my illness had flown out of both of our minds as I sat up and looked at her more closely. Her eyes were damp and blood shot, her whole body was shaking as she tried to keep her tears in, and her hair was slightly messy from how she was dragging her fingers through it.

"Mom?" I asked, panicking. "What's going on?"

"I'm so… so sorry, Honey…" she said. "You have to get dressed quick… You're uncle, Alex, is coming to get us with Jane, Mattie and Maddy to take us to the hospital…"

"Wha-what? Why?"

"There was an accident…" Mom said. She started sobbing. "A drunk moron collided with your father's car… It went spiralling out of control… They're both in hospital…"

"No…" I breathed.

Mom helped me out of bed and grabbed some clothes for me, letting me get dressed and brush my teeth before we hurried downstairs and waited outside for Uncle Alex to show up. Uncle Alex was Dad's older brother and he and his wife Jane had had Mattie and Maddy only a few days before Mom and Dad had me and Alfred – it was weird but apparently twins run in our family…

I kept my arms wrapped around myself securely, not because I was cold but because I was so anxious on top of the illness I thought I was going to throw up. I couldn't though. Just looking at Mom made me feel the need to be strong, to keep calm for the both of us. Only one of us could lose our minds at that moment and Mom was already breaking. I couldn't allow myself to break too.

Uncle Alex pulled up in our driveway quickly, his headlights almost blinding me when I made the mistake of looking directly at them. Mom all but pulled me towards the car and helped me get inside so I was practically sat on Madeline's lap. She looked at me sadly and awkwardly and I tried my hardest not to cough on her though she could see how pale I was and how much weight I'd already lost from being sick. The car was way too small for all of us, but we made do.

"Have you heard anymore?" Uncle Alex said, not even glancing at either of us or saying hello as he reversed out of the driveway and headed towards the hospital.

"Not yet," Mom said, shaking her head. She kept her eyes trained out of the window, every flash of a headlight going by making her flinch – it was unsurprising really, having just heard that a great chunk of her family had been involved in a car accident.

"I'm sure they're both fine," Aunt Jane said, though she didn't sound entirely sure of herself. I frowned a little but made sure no one saw me.

_Focus, Amie, focus…_

It was a short drive to the hospital all things considered and we were soon making our way into the reception, Uncle Alex and Mom hurrying over to the desk whilst Aunt Jane made Matthew, Madeline and me sit in the waiting room. I didn't really want to talk to anyone so was thankful that Aunt Jane always focused on her own kids. I played with the hem of my t-shirt and watched as Mom and Uncle Alex paced around by the desk before sitting down with us.

A full hour passed before a doctor came over to us. His ID name tag said his name was Doctor Richard MacDonald. He looked friendly and approachable but something in his eyes showed sadness that I didn't want to find out about. Mom stood up quickly and looked at him pleadingly.

"Are you the family of George and Alfred Jones?" he asked, looking at his clipboard for a split second.

"We are," Uncle Alex said.

"Where are my husband and son?" Mom asked. "Are they okay?"

"I have… mixed news," Doctor MacDonald said, toying with the metal board in his hands.

"What do you mean mixed?" Aunt Jane said.

"I'll start with Alfred…" Doctor MacDonald said. "He suffered severe bruising, tearing of muscles… and various fractures across his body including his left arm and base of his spine…"

"His spine…? He's… He's not…"

"He also had some internal bleeding that our surgeons were able to pick up on in time, unfortunately… Unfortunately he's slipped into a coma… We've taken him to the ICU to be monitored but as of this moment we don't know when he will wake up… if there's any lasting mental damage… and it's highly unlikely that he'll be able to walk again… I wish I could give you more accurate details but things are still touch and go with him at the moment… He may be able to walk again with rehabilitation; he may be paralysed completely or just from the waist down..."

"What's your honest opinion, Doctor?" Mom said quietly. "Will my son be okay? Will he walk? Will he even wake up…?"

"There are signs of brain activity so there is a high chance he'll wake up…" Doctor MacDonald said, glancing at his board again. "As for walking… It's most likely for him to be paralysed from the waist down but there is no stopping him from attempting rehabilitation."

Mom nodded, fighting back her tears. "What about George…?"

Doctor MacDonald looked solemn, closing his eyes for a moment and swallowing. I didn't like it. "I'm… I'm truly sorry to tell you this, Mrs Jones, but… but your husband was dead on arrival…"

"No," I said too loudly. "No…"

"Paramedics tried to revive him in the ambulance but he wasn't responding… We did all we could… but unfortunately your husband passed away from his injuries almost instantly…"

"No," Mom cried, turning and hiding against Uncle Alex who looked on the brink of tears himself. "No. No. NO!"

"I hate to do this… but he needs formal identification… When you… If you could come this way…?"

Uncle Alex walked away with Mom as she sobbed. Matthew turned to me and wrapped his arms around me. I'd been so focused on my mother and the doctor that I hadn't realised I was crying too. He held me close and I broke.

My brother was in a coma and may never be able to walk again and my father was gone… They'd been practically wiped from existence and the short time I'd fallen asleep…

* * *

Mom and I sat in Alfred's room playing some of his favourite music to him quickly from a CD player hoping that he would be able to hear it. We wanted him to feel comfortable and safe. Neither of us had really slept in the week that followed the accident and Mom couldn't even begin to think of things like Dad's funeral, court proceedings that had to happen when the drunk driver was out of hospital too. I'd been given compassionate leave from school – I hated having to tell Lovina that her boyfriend was in a coma but instead of breaking down like I thought she would, she hugged me tightly and made sure I was okay. That was the amazing thing about Lovina; she had a right to cry too but she made sure I was okay first before we cried.

I was feeling better. I hadn't been well enough to compete, not that I wanted to anymore. I couldn't help but imagine all the things that could have happened if I had been well… Would I be dead too? Would I be in a coma? Would we have been hit in the first place? All of these thoughts had been plaguing me and I could tell similar thoughts were eating away at Mom too…

Uncle Alex had decided to take over the funeral preparations, consulting Mom every so often but she had basically become catatonic. She sat beside Alfred's bed and stared at him, holding his unbroken hand and holding it to her lips. I remained curled up in my seat on the other side of the bed not knowing what to say or do to make it better. Mom ignored me when I tried so I stopped…

* * *

The day of Dad's funeral. Two and a half weeks after the accident. Alfred was the same. No signs of improvement. Mom was sat in front of her mirror sorting her makeup. I was sat on the stairs watching through her open door, dressed entirely in black and feeling like I wanted to crawl under my bed and hide away.

I heard the doorbell ring so went downstairs and let everyone in one by one. My routine for the day. Open the door. Greet people. Make small talk. Listen to people talk about my father. Get asked about my brother. Where is my mother?

I felt abandoned. Mom didn't come down until the time came for everyone to leave our home and head to the crematorium…

* * *

The ceremony was beautiful. Uncle Alex had done a wonderful job. I cried. Maddy stayed with me the entire time and held my hand, handing me tissues when I needed them. I couldn't take my eyes off of the coffin that held my father's body at the front of the room and when the curtains closed…

"No…" I sobbed. "Come back…"

"Come on, Amie…" Maddy said. "We've gotta go lay flowers down on the plot…"

"Why won't he come back?" I asked, not realising she was steering me out of the building. "Why won't he come back?!"

"I… I don't know," she replied, tearing up too. We looked at each other and she hugged me. I clung to her and pressed my face into her shoulder. I looked up as I heard high heels clacking on the pavement in front of me and saw Mom walking away towards the car. I couldn't cope. "Amie? Do you want to let the attendants set the flowers down and go home? We can come by another day and lay down our own flowers then…"

I nodded.

* * *

Mom had locked herself in her room the minute we got home. Everyone was still there but she had left me to it once again. I wanted to scream at her but there was nothing I could do… I mingled with everyone and made sure they had food and drink, got talked to by relatives I'd never seen before and put up with comments about the accident and how it was a shame all of this had happened.

When talks turned to Alfred, I hurried out of the room and into the back garden. I walked to the very back and sat on a porch alone, looking at the Koi pond Dad had installed when I was two-years-old. I loved that pond and the fishes… So did Dad…

I was so angry and frustrated, scared and confused, upset and broken… I couldn't find all the pieces that had broken away from me and nothing made sense. I rubbed my hands together, mingling my fingers and groaning as I tried not to cry. I clicked my fingers in frustration and that was when it first happened.

I was so startled that I fell off the bench. Everything turned black and white and the world slowed down. I screamed. I thought I'd hit my head and damaged my eyes. But no one came running. I looked back towards the house and blinked as I saw all the glittering colours, watching as Uncle Alex stepped outside by himself and walked over to the Koi pond.

That's when I saw it.

At that moment, I had no clue what it was. Now I call them Shards. I walked over to him and looked at the Shard closely. He was crying, the first time I'd seen him do so since the accident. Curious, I took it away. It was pinned to his lapel, broken and pale lilac. I stepped back, looking at it in my hands, turning it over as I tried to figure out why this one the only thing in colour. I looked back at Uncle Alex and blinked.

He'd stopped crying.

I moved back to my bench and sighed, deciding to click my fingers again to see what would happen. I was surprised when the colour melted back into the world and everything returned to a normal speed. I looked at my hands and saw the Shard was gone.

"Uncle Alex?"

He jumped and looked round. "Amelia…" he breathed. "Hey… I… I didn't see you there…"

"Sorry… I've been here the whole time though…"

"Sorry," he muttered.

"I, um… Were you crying?"

He blinked. "Oh, um. Yeah… Yeah, I was," he sighed.

"Are you okay?"

"You know what," he said, a small smile forming on his face. "I am okay… I think everything's going to be okay."

* * *

From that point on, I kept on practicing with this new found gift of mine and learnt just what it was I could do. When the world was black and white I was in a new place that I could manipulate. I could cause changes in the real world and help whenever I wanted. The pieces of glass that I found that I called Shards were all tied to negative emotions.

When I took away my uncle's Shard, I took away the depression he was feeling at that second. He felt okay, could see clearly. I tried it on other people to test – when Mom came downstairs I took away a blue shard as she was about to cry; I took away a red Shard from Lovina when someone made a comment about Alfred; and they weren't the only people. As I took note of what Shard meant what emotion, I learnt when to take it away and when to leave it. When fear pushed someone to do something great, I was glad I left it in place – sometimes people just need the right shove.

* * *

So, back to Lovina and the panic attack in the hallway.

Alfred was still in his coma – he had small signs of improving but he was still out for the count. Mom was… Mom was a very unhappy woman… And I was living every day differently.

Carefully I pulled the teal Shard off of her headband and put it into my bag. I kept the Shards for personal reasons I'll reveal later on. I could see her calming down slowly so remained crouched and clicked my fingers, watching as she took one more deep breath and looked up at him.

"God, I hate when that happens," she said. I helped her to her feet and chuckled. "Sorry, Amie. What were we doing?"

I smiled. "Let's just go get a drink from a vending machine, yeah?"

* * *

_**I'm glad you guys are getting into this story already. I hope you stick around for the rest! **_

_**I have plans and they will toy with your emotions! See ya next time!**_

_**DFTBA.**_


	3. The Problem With Arthur Kirkland

**Why I Smile**

**Chapter Three**

**The Problem With Arthur Kirkland**

With a bottle of Coke in my hand and a Boost bar in my bag, Lovina and I walked down the spiral staircase, looking out of the large, ceiling-high window at the car park. There were people sat in their cars reading or smoking or eating or sleeping. Some people were sat on the bonnet talking and laughing, hands in their pockets or holding the straps of their bags. Some people were walking back from the smoking shelters and I took in a deep breath of fresh air as we passed the automatic door which opened expectantly as though we were about to go out and join these total strangers in their little bubbles.

I glanced at Lovina as she drank part of her own Coke – I'd got Diet, but she went for full sugar – her hands still shaking from her panic attack. I felt bad for her whenever it happened because she never really knew how to cope with anxiety. I mean, if she could then she would just run away from her problems and hide from them for as long as she could. But this was the real world so there was no running – she had to learn to deal with it head on, and if I could help her out by taking away part of her fear then I would for as long as I could.

When we got into the corridor again, we stopped near the door (which was locked) and looked down the hallway. Near where we had been during the panic attack, Arthur Kirkland sat on the large wooden unit with his book in his hands again. He was staring at the pages intently, ignoring everyone that walked past him and focusing solely on whatever story it was that he was reading. I watched him for a little bit, trying to figure him out.

I had known Arthur since I started school. We were rarely in the same classes because he was always that little bit smarter than I was in some subjects – English he had been in top set, I was in second; Maths we were both in top set; and Science I was top and he was second – but we'd never really had a proper conversation since the end of primary school… It was my fault…

Looking away from him, I sighed softly and looked at the time on my phone. I could feel the heavy look that Lovina was giving me – the one that always told me that she was judging me for something. Turning my attention to her, I saw that her eyebrows were raised and she was glancing between myself and Arthur.

"Well?" she asked. "You gonna tell me why you were staring at the Punk?"

"He's not exactly a punk is he?" I said, avoiding the subject. "He's not dressed with ripped clothes, there's no piercings and his hair isn't green."

"That's a very specific image of punk you have," Lovina said, giving me a deadpanned expression.

"You only call him Punk cos he smokes," I said, rolling my eyes. It was true though – Arthur did smoke. He wasn't a chain smoker by comparison to some of the people in our class – he made a pack last for a month – and when he did smoke you wouldn't be able to tell. It still sucked that he was throwing his life away like that though… How he got the cigarettes, I didn't know.

"He's nearly seventeen," Lovina whispered, though he tone was harsh. "How the fuck does he get cigarettes at sixteen when you can't buy then till you're eighteen?!"

"Maybe one of his older brothers or sisters gives them to him?" I suggested, shrugging my shoulders.

"Not the point…" Lovina sighed. "Why were you staring at him?"

"I was just… thinking," I said. "You know… That nasty guilty feeling again…"

"Right…"

"He hates me," I said. "And I'm not exactly keen on him either, but we used to be close until I fucked up…"

"What happened again?"

"I started getting teased for hanging out with a guy so much," I explained. "I didn't like it so I told him to leave me alone. He wouldn't though and they kept teasing me so I was desperate… I couldn't tell him that they were picking on me cos I didn't want him to do anything or feel bad… But then I made him feel awful by throwing his lunch down the toilet… I got in so much trouble and he was so mad at me… We haven't talked much since…"

"Well... Maybe now's the time for a fresh start," Lovina smiled. "I've watched you guys argue since Year Seven. We're in college now… You're likely gonna have to work together a lot, so burying the hatchet…"

"Burying the hatchet seems like the best choice," I said, finishing her sentence.

Smiling, Lovina looked at the clock on her phone. "Well, we have a few more minutes so go over and talk to him."

"What? Right now?!"

"Yes, right now!"

There were time when I could strangle Lovina, but I knew that she was right. That didn't mean that I liked it. Scowling at her as I walked past, I fiddled with the strap of my bag and stood in front of Arthur. He didn't look up from his book. I cleared my throat a little.

"Uh, hi… Arthur," I said, picking at my thumb. He looked up a little and blinked. Clearly he hadn't been expecting me to be stood in front of him. "Um, can I talk to you?"

"I don't see why not," he replied, sitting up straight. His eyes were narrowed, looking me up and down apprehensively as though he was waiting for me to steal his lunch and throw it down the toilet again. "What do you want?"

"I… I wanted to apologise…" I felt so awkward, my cheeks reddening from the strength of his stare. "I've not been the nicest person to you and… well, you haven't been a diamond to me either… but…"

"You're serious?"

I blinked. "Yeah, I'm serious! We used to be good friends until…"

"Until you decided to be a bitch to me."

"You know what…" I said, clicking my fingers subtly. I watched the colours seep out of the world and everything slow down, folding my arms and looking up at Arthur. He was still watching me, but he hadn't noticed anything. I looked around him and found the Shards that were affecting him – there were five different pieces – but they were all colourless. I sighed.

This was the long running problem with Arthur Kirkland. Every single time I had used my power to try and help him I always found that I couldn't. Arthur's Shards were colourless, meaning they were stuck to him far too strongly – they were a part of him.

"Come on, you son of a bitch," I groaned, moving closer to him. I attempted for the one thousandth time to pull away one of the Shards but I couldn't do it. "Why do you have to be so fucking difficult?!"

I wanted to help him – it was one of the reasons why getting along with him over the years, for me at least, had been so difficult. I wanted to him so badly but because he had shielded himself away from everyone I couldn't get past the barrier he had created that kept the Shards in place. It was almost as though he enjoyed being miserable, but I refused to give up. Stepping back into position, I clicked my fingers again and looked up at him.

"What?" he snapped.

"I just want to get along with you again, Arthur…" I said. "I'm sorry I did what I did, but I had my reasons… They were stupid reasons… Ones that made sense when we were nine years old but that was years ago… But remember, we're in this class together for the next two years… I'd rather get along with you and get a good grade then argue and possibly hinder both of us… But whatever…"

"Whatever…" Arthur repeated, looking back at his book. I gripped the strap of my bag tightly and stomped back over to Lovina. She kept quiet when I stood by her again. She knew that I wasn't in the mood to talk anymore – honestly, that boy was more trouble than he was worth but he was so unique…

He was the first and only person that I had come across to have a case of Shards like that. Everyone had colours! Every single person! The only person I'd seen without Shards was Alfred – I wasn't sure whether it was because of the coma but had no Shards whatsoever. Arthur though. He was covered with them and there was nothing I could do to remove them. I'd first checked after we had argued a few weeks after my father's funeral. I'd finally gone back into school and everyone was being delicate with me because of Alfred and my Dad, but Arthur wasn't. He was blunt about everything as usual and upset me so I screamed at him and turned the world black and white, wanting to take away his Shards so that he would just leave me alone, but I couldn't do it… They just wouldn't leave him…

I'd been trying on and off since that day but with no success – whatever was troubling Arthur couldn't be sorted with my powers.

* * *

I sat at my Mac next to Lovina's, my legs crossed and my hands on my lap twiddling my thumbs as June went through the final part of the induction presentation. It was the most boring thing I had ever gone through but I had managed to stay awake.

"Okay, so in a minute your teachers for the rest of the year are going to come in and introduce themselves. The other class will be coming in too so it will be very cramped but this bit you'll all need an explanation of."

"What is it?" asked Maria, tying her long platinum hair into a scruffy ponytail.

"Just your first assignment to get you used to how things will be going over the course of your time here," June smiled. "Once the other class has returned to their room we'll be announcing who'll be working with who."

"We don't get to choose?" asked Lovina, glancing at me.

"No," June said. "We figured it would be best for you to work with people you wouldn't usually work with."

"Arrivederci, Lovina," I chuckled. She pouted at me.

We all looked round when a knocking sounded on the door and June nodded when we saw one of the other teachers peering through the window. The door opened and every piled inside, some people who were separated from their friends opting to sit on their laps to save space – it was a tight squeeze and the teachers stood at the front of the room with slightly sorry expression mixed with their smiles.

"Okay!" June smiled. "Well, for the benefit of the other group, I'm June and I'm your Communications lecturer."

"I'm Mike," said a tall man with a round happy face. He was fairly young and was wearing a Spiderman t-shirt. I liked him already. "I'm your Graphic Design lecturer."

"Hello, everyone," smiled a plump blonde lady with bright blue eyes. She looked sweet but some of the other group were muttering distastefully about her. "I'm Sally, your Industries lecturer and the tutor for Group B."

Next a tall butch lady with a military style hair cut stepped forwards – I was a little scared of her. "Alright, I'm Sharon, and I'll be your Journalistic Studies teacher."

"I'm Chris," said a large man with spikey brown hair. "I'm your Digital Communications teacher but you won't be starting that until next year… I'm here now because I'm your head of course, so anything problems you have that you feel you can't talk to your tutor about can come straight to me – also if things go beyond what your tutor can do I'll deal with it."

A small lady with dark brown hair finally stepped forwards – she looked mousy and her smile was small and thin, but she seemed really nice. "I'm Lori, your Radio Studies teacher."

"Hey! I'm Ransom and I'm your Video Communications teacher!" grinned a tall man with a beard. He wore hipster glasses and a Batman t-shirt, and looked roughly the same age as Mike. I liked him too. "We're gonna make some awesome movies together!"

"Yes… Well, now you've met everyone," June said, practically rolling her eyes at Ransom. Clearly she didn't find him as cool as we all were starting to. "It's time to explain your induction assignment. Now, there's no pressure – you won't be graded on this project, this is just to assess what you're capable of at this moment in time and where you can progress to.

"You're going to be put into pairs and given a topic at random to make a presentation about. You can do whatever you like with it – you can use PowerPoint, SlideShare, and Prezi, whatever you can think of to make everyone understand your topic. You have two weeks to complete it. Though you can start the presentation straight away – the first week starting Monday will be dedicated to researching your topic. You must, must, MUST, create a bibliography of your sources."

"Group B if you'd like to join me back in Room 975 I'll tell you what your pairs will be," said Sally, the other group getting up and awkwardly making their way out of the room. The rest of us remained silent, glancing at each other trying to figure out who we would prefer to work with if our first choice wasn't available to us. I swallowed thickly. June turned her attention to us and smiled once the door was closed.

"Okay…" she said. "Now, I know you guys don't all know each other and some of you have come from the school so I've tried to make it as easy on you as possible whilst still having the element of a challenge…"

With that she started reading through the list, pairing people with others they really wouldn't have worked with. She also kept it boy-girl as much as possible. Lovina ended up paired with Sakura, the little Japanese girl with the flower in her hair, though. Maria was working with the tanned boy I'd learnt was called Antonio.

"Who next…?" muttered June. "Oh right! Amelia! You'll be working with Mr Kirkland here."

I felt Lovina tense next to me and nudge my arm. I felt my heart drop. Glancing to my left to the other side of the classroom, I caught Arthur's eye as he looked at me. Neither of us looked happy. At all.

I had to be working with him. I just had to be working with Arthur Freaking Kirkland.

Of-fucking-course!

* * *

_**Le update!**_

_**You guys are really sweet sending me messages and reviewing. I like hearing your thoughts on the story – it means a lot to me. **_

_**By the way, this story will have a time span longer than just two weeks before anyone wonders what's going on!**_

_**Also, I'm putting together a playlist on Spotify, YouTube, and GrooveShark (maybe) of songs I've been listening to whilst working on and planning this story. Specific songs to fit the moods of characters, their profiles ect. If you want a link ask me on Tumblr and I'll post it :)**_

_**See y'all next time :)**_

_**dftba**_


	4. I Learn That Spying Is Bad For You

**Why I Smile**

**Chapter Four**

**I Learn That Spying Is Bad For You**

I waited long enough to find out what topic Arthur and I would be working on before bolting it out of the room with Lovina hot on my tail. She had talked to Sakura about their partnership already but I had stayed firmly planted in my seat from the moment that June had said I would be partnered with Arthur Kirkland. He too had made no move to sit with me, just a stunned expression on his face as he tried exceptionally hard not to meet my glances.

What made them think that this was a good idea? You could practically cut the tension between Arthur and I with a buzz saw! Did these teachers honestly expect a decent work effort from two people who barely got along? Besides, what was their theory? Nothing had been made obvious that me and Arthur disliked each other really - I guess that makes my other point invalid now - but they were trying to avoid putting people together from the same school so he and I magically end up working together somehow?!

I didn't want to stick around to hear Arthur complain so made my way to the English building to meet my Lit teacher and run. As I got to the classroom I felt a tugging on my arm so turned around, blinking as Lovina looked up at me with dark eyes and flushed cheeks. She had actually ran from one building to another - I mean, she was always a fantastic runner, it was always a little unfair on the other kids in the relay on Sports Day when she ran but it certainly was an amazing sight. But right now she looked pretty beat...

"What the actual fuck, Amie?" she coughed, frowning at me as she stood up straight. "Why did you run?!"

"Because I didn't want to stick around and talk to Arthur," I replied. She looked at me incredulously, her eyebrows raised and her hands working to sort her hair out once more. I didn't feel like getting lectured by her so turned around and went into the classroom. To my surprise, the teacher inside was a very handsome young man reading _A Feast For Crows_. Even Lovina stopped being mad at me long enough to stare at him for a moment before he realized we were there and looked up from his page.

"Oh, hello!" he smiled, showing us a set of brilliantly white teeth. This guy could not be for real… He just couldn't… His hair was dark and curly, his eyes were so blue they were nearly violet and his skin was naturally tanned. "Are you another two for the induction session?"

We looked around. We were the only two, other than him, in the room. Dumbly, we nodded.

"Excellent," he said, sitting up straight. He set his book on the table and clapped his hands together. "Well, I'm Jon. Jon Rogers. What are your names?"

"I'm Amelia Jones."

"Lovina Vargas…"

"Nice to meet you."

"Um, where is everyone…?" I asked, looking around the room to double check there wasn't actually anyone else there. I was starting to feel a little unnerved by the lack of mentioned people in the room...

Jon chuckled. "I sent them on their ways," he explained. "Some had other courses to go look at and others just wanted to go home already. I too would like to go home as soon as possible... Induction day is so boring and I can never do anything with you guys so I just say hi and give you freedom."

"Sweet," smiled Lovina. "Well, it was nice to meet you!"

"And you, girls," he said, returning to his book. "I'll see you next week."

"See ya," I nodded, walking out of the room with Lovina who instantly rounded on me as soon as the door had closed behind me.

"I have never seen anything quite so cowardly in all my life," she huffed, her hands on her hips and her cheeks puffed out like an irate chipmunk.

"That is very ironic coming from you," I joked. For someone reason, this was not a joking moment... She glared at me. I held my hands up in defence. "Okay, okay... I know it was a dumb move running away from him but you saw what he was like when I tried to talk to him earlier... He nearly bit my head off. Can you imagine what he'll be like working with me? Because I can and it isn't pretty!"

Lovina rolled her eyes at me and huffed a deeply frustrated breath. "I forced you to talk to him so I feel a little bit guilty, but you need to get over this feud... Both of you. I don't doubt you two could make a pretty decent team if you put your heads together. "

"Our heads are constantly together," I countered, "they're just always butting…"

"Well, stop acting like fighting rams and just fucking get along," Lovina snapped. "This is getting ridiculous! Just tell him the fucking truth about what happened and clear the air. If he believes you then awesome, but if not then just get on with the project and try not to fuck up too much."

"You're such a wonderful friend."

"With you as a friend I have to be."

I smiled at her and she smiled back. That was the wonderful thing about our friendship: we had a mutual understanding of one another so we could get away with our mean sarcasm because it wasn't really all that mean. We began our trek down the stairs, walking past the library and towards the canteen. We had decided the day before that we would brave the café food at least once on our first day just to know if it would be worth spending our money on it every so often.

"Where are you going after this?" Lovina asked as we queued. "As if I didn't already know…"

"Where do I always go on Friday afternoons…" I sighed. "It's the least I can do for him… Alfred and I always went swimming on Friday afternoons… It was the one day of the week he would set aside from his friends to spend time with me so we could coach each other…"

"I know, Amie…" Lovina said. She was at the front of the queue now so order a slice of the surprisingly delicious-looking meat feast pizza and some curly fries, glancing at me. "Same for her," she smirked.

"One at a time, Deary," smiled the elderly canteen dinnerlady. "Unless you want to pay for her meal too." The money was out of my purse and into her hands before she could even say no. The old lady laughed and proceeded to dish up our food.

"So he really hasn't made a lot of progress?" Lovina asked, handing over the money and taking her plate. She grabbed a handful of salt packets and a knife and fork. I did the same and followed her to a quiet table at the back of the room right next to the large square windows that overlooked some of the other buildings, the theatre and the car park. Not to mention the smoking area. The top half of the window could be opened so I stood up and pushed it halfway, getting a mixture of cool air and sour smoke. It was a tough decision to keep the window open with that smell, but the need for cool air was greater.

"Not really," I said, dumping my bag on the seat next to mine. I started to cut my pizza and took my first bite – I could easily get used to the food in this place. Too eager to get another mouthful, I talked with my mouth full. "He's been showing small signs, but nothing amazing that would mean he would wake up any day now. No words. Just twitches… His hand will grip the bed covers sometimes and he held my hand one time, but every time I talk to him he just doesn't respond…"

"I wish I could go and see him more often…" Lovina said ruefully. She looked impressed by her pizza at the same time as being sad about Alfred which gave her face a really awkward slant.

"You do enough," I smiled, taking a sip from my water bottle. "You have your own family to worry about. Marcello, Feli, your grandfather and parents."

"Alfred is my boyfriend," she countered. "I count him as a part of my family too, Amelia. And you."

I smiled – she was one of the only people that still used the present tense when talking about Alfred. Other people talked about him like he was dead already… I finished my pizza and picked at the curly fries. "And I love you for it. I'm sure Alfred does too."

"Bastard better had," Lovina chuckled. She looked over her shoulder out of the window. "For fuck's sake, that boy is out there smoking with that weird group…"

"Who?" I blinked. I knew she meant Arthur but I had no clue about this group she was talking about.

"That tall boy with the spikey blond hair, Mathias," she said, looking out the window at them. "Maria, that tanned guy Antonio from our class and Mathias' girlfriend Nora. You know, that weird shrimp of a girl with the dead eyes and obsession with magic?"

"Ohhhhh," I said, sitting up in my seat a little to glance outside too. I watched as Arthur smoked and laughed with this random collection of people, looking more happy and alive than I had ever seen him. I knew he hung around with Maria a bit but the others were news to me… Not all of them were smoking, only Arthur and Mathias (who was exceptionally tall and lean) but it looked as though Antonio had just put out a bud. Just as I was about to look back at my plate, Arthur looked up at the building and caught my eye. I turned around quickly and got out of sight but I knew that he had seen me. I groaned into my hands and finished the last of my fries in one bite and gathered up my things.

"Hey!" exclaimed Lovina. "What the heck?! Are you bolting again?! Why?!"

"Because he fucking saw me!" I replied, shoving my water bottle back into my bag. Lovina stared at me for a moment before rolling her eyes.

"You are a moron, I swear to God," she sighed.

"Look, I just don't want to have to deal with this until next week, okay?" I said. "I'll talk to him but not right now! He's already pissed at me and I know that he won't actually believe what I have to tell him so fleeing is my best option right now."

"Well, you better duck around the long way around that crowd then because he's just walked into the room."

"What…?" I muttered, looking up. Arthur had indeed walked into the room and was scanning across the sea of people to try and find me. I ducked down and held my bag.

"Idiot," Lovina said, getting to her feet. She held her bag and looked at me judgingly. "I have to go now, okay. I have to go pick my brother up from school, but seriously. Grow up."

"I will next week!" I said, making my way towards the crowd. "See you later! Tell Feli I said hi!"

"Again, you're an idiot!"

I ignored her and walked around the outside of the groups, hiding amongst the other students subtly until I got to the door. I waited until he was distracted before rushing out of the canteen and straight for the stairs. I ran down them, hopping around people and jumping to the ground skipping the last three steps. I looked behind me and hurried off into the reception area, gulping as I saw Arthur's friends walking in from the other end of the hall.

"Amelia!" called Maria, waving to me.

"Uh, hey, Maria," I said, bouncing on the balls of my feet.

"Have you seen Arthur?" she asked. "He started acting weird then ran off. He's meant to be heading to practice with us in ten minutes."

"He's upstairs," I said, pointing up at the platform that connected the library corridor to the canteen and the stairs I had just ran down. I paled as I saw him walk out onto it. "Right there." When they looked up, I took my chance to run.

"Amelia!" I heard him call, but I really didn't want to talk to him. It really was a stupid thing to be doing but my God did I not want to talk to him. I managed to get out of the reception, but I had to wait to cross the road because of all the cars that were coming in and out of the college. I crossed the road when I got the chance to and hurried out of the gates and down the hill to the bus stop that would take me to the hospital.

I took a deep breath, convinced that I had lost him. I slowed to a walk and crossed the road again, walking past the woodlands and the walkway that led through them.

"Hey! Wait up, damn it!"

"Shit…" I muttered, attempting to run again. However, I felt a strong hand grip my arm at the elbow to stop me from running. "Hey! Let me go!" I turned around and looked up at Arthur who was looking at me with a hard expression. "Dude, let me go, that hurts."

"Do you promise not to run away from me?"

"You seem really creepy right now so I can't make any promises!"

Arthur sighed and let my arm go. "Look, I just want to talk to you. You ran off pretty quickly when Media induction was done with."

"I had to get to English Lit induction," I said in a half-truth.

"And I had to go to Music induction but I still didn't flee the room like it was a crime scene!" Arthur snapped. He looked really angry with me. "Did you know that they were going to team us up together? Is that why you came over to me at break?"

"Fuck no!" I exclaimed. "Did you not see my face?! I was just as in the dark about that little surprise as you were!"

"Right…" he said, running his hand through his already messy hair. I took a deep breath. "Still, what you said seems to be our best option right now… At least for the next two weeks…"

"I meant my apology earlier, Arthur," I said, folding my arms. "You were the one who was a dick about it."

"Because you were a bitch to me!"

"WHEN WE WERE NINE YEARS OLD!"

"Why were you a dick to me then?" Arthur asked, finally getting to the point I was actually dreading. This was so not going to go well. "I mean, the first time. I get the rest of the time cos I was an arse to you too… But that first time. Throwing my lunch in the toilet, screaming at me. What the fuck was that?"

"I was being bullied for being your friend…" I sighed. Arthur blinked, looking genuinely surprised. "The other girls were picking on me for hanging around with a boy so much and I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I was just so upset and desperate for them to leave me alone… I know I hurt you anyway, but I didn't want them attacking either of us anymore… So I threw your lunch in the toilet and you know the rest… I know you won't believe me…"

"Oh, I believe you," he said. "I just can't believe that you let some fucking little trolls get between what seemed to me like a pretty good friendship…"

"I fucked up… I know…" I said. "But like I said earlier, we were nine years old and my reasons made sense when we were nine years old… Now I know they were pretty dumb and I was a moron for hurting you like that."

Arthur frowned for a moment. "You're gonna have to do a lot to earn my trust back," he said. "But we need to get this assignment done. Just don't be a moron again."

"You can stop being a prick too."

Arthur laughed a little, giving me a small smile. It was a start. "Bullies…" he muttered, shaking his head and walking away. "Fucking bullies…"

I had no idea what had just happened. Had Arthur just forgiven me? Had he believed me? It seemed to me that he was a little too quick to just accept my story… There had to be more to it, but I figured I would find that out on Monday… I watched him walk back across the street and clicked my fingers. The colours melted away and everything slowed down, but as I saw the Shards on Arthur's shirt they were still as colourless as I had made the world…

* * *

_**Stupid chapter is stupid. **_

_**Next will be better, but hey, I needed some filler.**_

_**DFTBA**_


	5. Arthur Pushes Me Too Far

**Why I Smile**

**Chapter Five**

**Arthur Pushes Me Too Far**

After visiting Alfred, I spent the entirety of my weekend reading the same novel three times. _The Great Gatsby_, though an incredible story, is very short. I was able to get through it in a couple of hours on Friday evening, reread it on Saturday evening whilst I hid away in my bedroom, the one more time to Alfred when I visited him again on Sunday. He had talked about the story for a while when he heard it was going to be turned into a film but he hadn't gotten around to reading it – I just hoped that he had been able to hear my voice as I read it to him.

If he hadn't then I'd have to lend him the book when he finally woke up.

It was all a distraction from the nerves that were building up in my stomach at the prospect of having to go back into that classroom on Monday. Having to sit down with Arthur and work on our topic was going to be the death of me, I could just see it. He and I always bickered – since that first day of our un-friendship we had been locked in this continual battle to one-up each other. I had no idea if that was going to carry on now that we had talked about what had happened which made it all the more unappealing.

I went through my usual morning routine when my alarm clock rang on Monday morning. It was a cloudy morning, muggy and hinting at a thunder storm. I tied my hair into a scruffy ponytail and grabbed my brown leather jacket before shoving my lunch into my bag. I hesitated by the door, my hand on the knob. Glancing over my shoulder, I looked up the stairs where I could hear feet shuffling and caught a glimpse of my mother walking into the bathroom. I sighed to myself before opening the door and walking out of the house.

After getting on the bus, I sat near the back once again and looked out of the window. I kept my headphones in and made sure the volume was loud as a pop-punk song played. Outside the window the storm was finally starting to kick in so I huddled into my jacket and watched the rain flow down the glass in long lines. Lovina eventually got onto the bus too and sat in front of me, looking over the back of the seat and raising her eyebrows at me. I took my headphones out.

"So, you're actually showing your face today?" she asked. She was still annoyed with me. "I thought you'd transfer to another college during the weekend."

"Actually, Arthur caught me on my way to the bus stop on Friday and we talked about what happened."

Lovina blinked. "You two actually talked?"

I nodded. "Yeah, we talked and I told him exactly what happened when we were nine years old and he believed me. He thought it was pathetic but he believed me."

"Well… That's good, isn't it?"

"I guess so." I shrugged. "He just needs to be nice and I will too. If he acts like a cock then I'll defend myself. But if he's nice…"

"Do you think you could be friends again?"

"I don't know," I replied. "I think I'd like to be but so much has changed. We're different people. He's cooler than he was… When we were kids he was a bit of a nerd. Sweater vests and Harry Potter backpacks. But now… He smokes, he has more friends than me, he's a lot more outgoing and I'm not gonna lie… He looks good in skinny jeans."

Lovina laughed. "Sounds like you have a crush on him." Her eyes widened and glittered mischievously, all annoyance forgotten now she had something to tease me with. Revenge was something she enjoyed immensely. "That's why you two have always been so competitive with one another! You _like_ each other! It's the classic playground drama! He pulls your ponytail and you knick his shin!"

"Oh my fucking god," I groaned. "No, I don't like him. This isn't some stupid romantic comedy! Arthur's no Justin Timberlake and I'm certainly no Mila Kunis."

"Ha, I can just see it," Lovina grinned, pressing the button to get off the bus. She stood and I followed her down the walkway, both of us huddling under her huge umbrella. We ran through the gates and straight into Reception, Lovina putting the umbrella down and shaking it. Walking through the area, we hopped around the other students and took a right, then another right, and a left to enter the Central Café. It was full of people eating, pouring over books, laughing and hanging out. We both got snacks from the vending machine to eat on our first break and then went back out into the rain. Luckily the walkway for the Science pods acted as our shelter as we ran along the pathway, but that didn't stop some water dripping down and hitting out legs.

When we got to the classroom, the door was locked and the lights were off. With no other options, we sat down in the corridor and waited. We sat on opposite sides of the corridor, our legs crossed so that there was a gap for people to walk through. Lovina decided that she had had enough of talking so played with her phones so I put my other headphone back in and listened to my music until I felt someone kick my thigh. Surprised, I looked up and blinked as I saw Arthur stood above me – his dark jacket was dripping and he had his hands in his pockets. He had two bags – one for his college work and the other a guitar bag.

"There's a gap between us that you could walk through, you know," I said, a smile playing around my lips. He glanced at the floor between me and Lovina who was remaining hidden behind her phone. Bitch.

"Nah, walking into you was a lot more entertaining," he said, kicking me lightly again.

"I will grab your foot and tug you down," I threatened. He knew I would do it so stepped over me and sat down next to Lovina.

"No one thought to get the key from the technician then?" he yawned, taking a sip from the take-away drink he'd obviously bought from the Overlook Café above us. He grimaced at the taste but finished it nonetheless. "I'm never buying tea from that café again. That was fucking awful."

"You need one of that cups with the rubber lid," I suggested. "And no, the technician's room has no lights on either so…"

"Fair enough," he shrugged.

I felt so conscious and awkward and I didn't like it. I looked at Lovina pleadingly to join the conversation but she just kept looking at her phone screen. Though quiet, I could hear the sounds of Angry Birds.

"You still wear that old jacket I see," Arthur said, nodding to me. I looked down at myself and huddled into the jacket. My Dad had helped me pay for it because it was the only bit of my clothing that he liked the look of.

"Yes," I replied simply.

"Hmm…" he said.

Thankfully, June chose that moment to show up and unlock the door. I stood quickly and followed her into the room only to realise that I had to sit with Arthur still. I took the computer in the back of the room strategically. I was in the middle so Lovina could sit next to me with Sakura to work on their project and Arthur would be the other side with the chance to be near his friends. It was full proof no matter who sat which side of me!

* * *

"No! That's stupid! Look, look at that font, Arthur! That is _totally_ targeted at females because of the curliness. Look at the other product. It's the exact same thing just coloured darker with bolder and straighter font. It says 'For Men'. That is how the fonts are used!"

Arthur and I were arguing over our topic. Lunch had been and gone and we were on our final stretch of the day before we could flee home or in my case to English. The topic that Arthur and I had been given to present was 'Gender Representation in Marketing' and Arthur was having none of my argument on font representation.

"I don't see how that font is more appealing to women though," he said. "What is it about the curly font that makes it for women? The logo doesn't say anything about it so why is that one specifically for men and that one for women?"

"That is the whole point," I sighed. "It's stupid that the market is so segregated which is the point I'm trying to make on these slides… It obviously doesn't affect you, but the typical idea with these companies is that men will be less likely to purchase this bottle because of that font. It seems more feminine. The harsh lines and boldness are more masculine. Even the colour of the tin."

Arthur squinted at my screen before raising his eyebrows and nodding his head. "I get it," he said. "I see it now! Fuck me, what is wrong with these people? Can't I buy a fucking deodorant without being labelled?"

"No, no you can't," I smirked.

* * *

We were making pretty amazing progress and getting along. I was absolutely surprised by the turn around but it was happening. Arthur and I had planned out and researched a great deal of the topic, but there was still so much work to do.

By the time Wednesday came, we were so focused on our project that we had forgotten to jibe each other. We were coming up with arguments for the debate – playing devil's advocate with one another on the things we were coming up with. Boys wear blue and girls were pink, font styles, names, branding. We were both lost in a sea of discussion and I found myself enjoying every second of it.

I thought that the project was going to be torture – I hated having to do presentations in front of people. When I got talking I could talk forever, but the idea of having to stand in front of people was horrific. I always got flashbacks of the first debating session my English teacher at secondary school made us do. We had been separated into groups and given characters from Romeo and Juliet – we had to debate as to who was to blame for their deaths. My group was given Romeo so we worked out a whole list of reasons as to why he was to blame for the death but at the same time I couldn't help but see the faults in the other characters.

The debate was long and one group decided they didn't want to talk so when it came to cross each other I stood up and said, "how do you even expect to give a reasonable argument when you won't even stand up and talk?!" The rest of the groups cheered and my teacher said I had made an excellent point. I was so stunned and aware of the eyes on me that my voice all but failed me. I was barely able to get out my actual question.

I was scared that was going to happen again.

"Okay, take a break, you guys," yawned Ransom, leaning back in his chair. He stretched and got up. "I need coffee so go do what you want for twenty minutes. Just don't tell anyone it's that long…"

The weather hadn't improved and I wasn't hungry so I stayed sat in the classroom as most of the other students piled out of the room. Lovina lingered with me, stretching her legs and jumping up and down to get the feeling back. Sakura stayed too. As did Arthur.

"You alright there, Lovi?" I laughed as she did jumping jacks. I glanced at Arthur who watched her amusedly. I smiled.

"My leg's dead!" she complained.

"Try rubbing them to get the circulation moving," Sakura suggested. She was a nice girl, very quiet and polite but easy to get along with when you got past the wall she put up. I was very nearly through.

"Good idea," Lovina said, sitting down and rubbing her calves. I chuckled and pulled my latest book out of my bag. _Revolver _by Marcus Sedgwick. A new released I'd picked up and was thoroughly enjoying. As I read, I became aware of the eyes on me so glanced up and saw Arthur watching me.

"Uh… Can I help you?" I asked, marking my place.

"No, I was just curious as to how you could be reading so a large book," he said.

"What do you mean 'me of all people'?" I said, narrowing my eyes.

"You just… don't seem to have the patience to read books that large," Arthur shrugged.

Lovina laughed. "Man, you really have missed out on this girl." Arthur blinked and turned to her. "Her bedroom is like a library! There are so many books! She has to have read around three hundred at least."

"Two hundred and eighty six," I muttered, looking down at the purple cover in my hands. "At the weekend I read _The Great Gatsby_ three times. I'm three books into _A Song of Ice and Fire_… But I don't see what this has to do with anything."

"Have you read _Agent 21_ by Chris Ryan?" asked Arthur.

I sat up a little in my seat. "I haven't," I said. "I've heard of it though. It's a spy story right? A teen spy or something along those lines?"

"Yeah," grinned Arthur. "It's pretty good. You should check it out."

* * *

Friday.

The last day of the week. The last day of week one of the induction. And the day the storm got worse.

I was absolute soaked when I got into the classroom with Lovina. We were dripping, our jeans sticking to our legs like no one's business. I didn't want to sit down because I knew how uncomfortable I was going to be but I had no choice. I made a disgusted noise as my jeans rubbed against my skin and sent a chill through me, glancing at Lovina who went over to the radiator and leant against it.

"Those things aren't even turned on…" I said, trying to get used to the feeling of my horrible trousers. Lovina stayed by the radiator.

"I can hope!" she countered, turning round and pressing the front of her thighs to the white metal. I rolled my eyes and looked up at the ceiling as my Mac loaded, kicking my boots off and taking off my socks. I'd brought a spare pair just in case this happened, but my feet were soaked as well somehow. I must have had a hole in the bottom of my boots or something.

It took forty-five minutes for everyone to get in that day. Even Sally was late. When Arthur showed up in his soaked black leather jacket, I couldn't help but snigger at the fact it had a fabric hood and it had done nothing to stop his hair from becoming even messier than it had already been. He shot me a look as he sat down.

"Don't even start," he said.

"But you're making it so easy for me," I grinned. I felt better now that my jeans were almost dry, but there was still a horrible squelching feeling against my thighs which was making me feel ill – it also gave me the excuse to be able to smile at his misery. "I got soaked too this morning so don't be so defensive."

"Settle down, you lot," Sally said when she was finished taking the register. We all quietened and gave her our attention. "Today is the last day you have to research and prepare the notes for your presentations. Don't screw around, okay? Next week will be solely focused on the making of and rehearsals for your topics. I want to hear debates, I want to see evidence, I want you to prove that you are going to be up for the challenges that your gradable assignments are going to set you. You can have a ten minute break in an hour but remember you have lunch after this lesson before Mike is going to take over from me and your day ends at 1:15pm."

"Is there even a point in having a lunch break then?" asked Maria. Some of the others sent her death glares. "No seriously! What is the point in a lunch break before it's even midday only to have a lesson that only lasts till one?"

"I don't know," replied Sally. She tied her hair into a pony tail and clipped it up. One week and she was already annoying me – I could tell why her tutor group didn't like her.

She said nothing more to us so we took it as our cue to turn around and get on with our work.

* * *

"We aren't going to get this research done in time," Arthur sighed, running his hands through his hair. We were at the beginning of our final lesson. Mike was sat at the front of the room playing with his iPad whilst we all sat around trying to put together the last bits of research. We had definitely gone overboard with our topic, Arthur and I, but we were too far into a point to stop now meaning we had to get some final point sorted before the end of the day.

"I don't know," I said, "I think we can do it. Look, if we end the presentation on this point then we can get the others to debate our ideas for a little while. This is the summary of our argument and they can contest it. All we need as one last thing to help us summarise."

"Which is going to take forever," groaned Arthur. God, he was a whiney bastard. "I can't think of anything at the moment so why don't we just take a break and recalibrate our brains and go back to your house or something to finish our notes?"

"Why can't we go back to your house or even the library?" I asked.

"Because my mother, despite having had six children, still loves being a mother figure and decided to become a child minder and use our home as her place of business," Arthur said. "She didn't realise that my day would end so soon because my older siblings don't finish until five so asked if I could stay out a little longer."

"Doesn't she want help with the kids?"

"She is a superhero, my mother," Arthur smiled fondly. I smiled too. I wished I could say the same. "It's a joint business with her best friend – my godmother Rosa – but our house is larger than hers so they use it as their base."

"Cool," I muttered. "But we can't go back to my house… I have to go see Alfred and _my_ mother wouldn't like it if I had guests over unexpected and…"

"Stop making excuses," Arthur sighed. "You're always making excuses!"

I raised my eyebrows. "It's not an excuse," I retorted. "I've always gone to see Alfred in the hospital on a Friday afternoon and my mother really doesn't like other people coming into our house. Especially when she doesn't know them."

In truth, I just didn't want Arthur to be the one to find out about the secret I'd been keeping for a year. Not just the one about the Shards and my powers, a simpler secret that lurked in my home and I relished walking away from like the horrible person I am… My mother wouldn't even remember Arthur being in the house because she was most likely intoxicated to the point she can't walk. Since my father passed away and Alfred went into his coma, she couldn't cope with the thought of being alone. Even though I was still there. She hid away from the world as much as she could – I mean, she went to work or we wouldn't have been able to keep our house… But when she was done she would drink the rest of her day away.

And when she was in sight of me in that state she only had cruel words and glasses to throw. So, now only did I spend my time picking up the shards of the glasses she broke, I spent my time in black and white slowly removing all the splitters from her skin. Her Shards had shattered into hundreds of smaller pieces and pricked into her skin like a multi-coloured hedgehog. No matter how many times I pulled the pieces away, more always came back just as quickly.

"This is important, Amelia!" Arthur snapped, narrowing his eyes. A crease appeared in the space between his eyebrows as he drew them together. "We need to get this done and we'll have a better chance thinking about it later rather than making something stupid up now! The library would be too crowded and we wouldn't be able to discuss properly."

"I've said I can't…"

"Because you have to see Alfred? Why? It's not like he knows you're there! He's in a coma, Amelia! He's unconscious. He's been that way for over a year so I doubt he even realises you're there! He doesn't need you there all the time! The nurses can wipe his arse if he shits himself and I doubt you do that for him anyway! You just sit there and waste your life waiting for him to jump back into his. Well, I've got news for you: he's not jumping into anything! You can't put your life on hold for him and you know it! Even if he does wake up he'll be a hassle. And let's face it; he wasn't the greatest person in the world when he was awake so just get over it already and live!"

All the whole time he spoke, I could feel myself tearing up. The class had stopped working and had turned to look at us and my hands were balling into fists. I was so angry with him. What he was saying was disgusting… Talking about my paralysed, comatose brother the way he was… I refused to cry in front of him but my anger got the better of me and hit him very hard across the face before grabbing my bag and rushing from the room.

* * *

I didn't want to go home but I didn't want to be outside either. The rain had managed to disguise my tears as I got on the bus so no one knew I was crying unless they took a real interest in me.

I went to the hospital, my sanctuary, and sat beside my brother's bed. I curled up in the seat and cried. I didn't want him to know I was sad but there was nothing I could do to stop myself. I sobbed and made myself as small as possible.

Most of what Arthur had said had been completely out of order but I knew he had some accurate points… I couldn't waste my life waiting for Alfred because he would be so far behind me it would be a battle for him to catch up. He'd have to finish his final year of school, then college, then university all well after me… I wanted to be around to help him when he needed me or to just be stood on the side lines cheering him on as he did it all himself.

I just wanted my big brother back…

Hours past and my stomach started to grumble. I looked at my phone. I'd left it on silent and was surprised to see a lot of texts and missed calls. Most of them were from Lovina but a few were from an unknown number. I sighed. It was five in the afternoon. I looked round when I heard a knock on the door. Lovina usually just entered so, curious, I got out of my seat and walked over to it. I pulled it open rather than looking through the blinds and blinked as Arthur stood in the hallway.

He had opted to lean against the wall by the door but stood up straight hastily as I opened the door and looked at me awkwardly.

"You've been crying…" were his firsts words.

I scowled and went out into the hallway, shutting the door behind me. "You aren't welcome here," I snapped. "I don't want you here and I'm sure Alfred wouldn't either. How did you even find me?!"

"Lovina tore me a new one for being rude to you like that and told me where I'd likely find you," Arthur said, rubbing the back of his head. He let out a heavy breath. "Look, I know I was out of line with what I said about Alfred… It's no excuse but I was stressed out and getting tired and I fucked up. I'm sorry. I stand by my points about you not wasting your life, but… Alfred never did anything wrong to me aside from the jibes I got from him when I argued with you…"

"You're fucking right you were out of line," I glared.

"I'm honestly really sorry…" Arthur said and he looked it. "It was insensitive and awful… and I don't blame you for hitting me…"

Finally realising the damage I'd caused, I saw the bruise on Arthur's cheek along his cheekbone from where I'd hit him. I felt a little guilty. I shook my head. "No… I shouldn't have hit you but you still had no right to talk about him like that…"

"Do you accept my apology?" he asked, tilting his head a little. "I kind of need you to argue with me in a good way, remember?"

I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. I looked at him. "You have a lot of work on your plate making things up with me now," I said. "But for the sake of the project, I accept your apology."

"Who knows," Arthur said, suddenly smiling at me brightly. "We may be able to rekindle that old friendship we used to have. I raised my eyebrows sceptically. "Hmmm, I do have a lot of work to do…" He smirked jokingly. "But hey, at least I didn't wait seven years to say sorry."

Without another word, he turned and walked away leaving me alone in the corridor with too many thoughts.

* * *

_**Should I have updated another story first?**_

_**Yes.**_

_**Did I want to?**_

_**No. So you get this instead even though no one seems relatedly fussed by it. But oh well. I want to write it so whatever. Thanks to anyone who does actually give a shit, you're awesome.**_


	6. We Exceed All Expectations

**Why I Smile**

**Chapter Six**

**We Exceed All Expectations**

After spending the rest of the afternoon sat beside Alfred, listening to him breathing as I read my book I decided to head back home and hide away in my bedroom instead. I didn't want to see anyone, not even Lovina, because my feelings about what had gone on in the classroom were so conflicting that I couldn't tell what emotion I was feeling most strongly.

Thinking back over what had been said; I figured that I had overreacted. I shouldn't have hit him. It was a spur of the moment decision because I hadn't truly heard what he had said to me. My initial reaction was that he was wishing my brother dead. When the words left his mouth, I didn't truly hear them and lashed out because of it. He hadn't said he was better off dead, he had simply stated the obvious that Alfred really wasn't going to be jumping back into life any time soon…

I was still angry about his phrasing because, come on. Show a little tact, man. But he was right. Alfred's accident had happened in June; he'd completely missed our final year of school and was now missing college too… He had been in his coma for one year, two months and twenty five days. The doctors knew he would never walk again, but they didn't know what kind of state he would be in mentally when he woke up… He could be himself or he could…

I didn't want to think about the alternative…

So, I was at a stalemate with my emotions. I was still furious with Arthur for the way he behaved and was definitely going to make him earn my trust back. But I was still on that same path myself. He may have been joking when he said about waiting years to apologise, but he still had a point. I was earning his trust back too.

* * *

When Monday morning came around, I got out of bed with a heavy heart and a twisting knot in my stomach. I was absolutely terrified to step back into that classroom after what had happened. Arthur, I knew, I was going to have little to no problems with… It was his friends and the other people in the class…

I deliberately took my time as I get showered and dressed, rushing only when my mother came into the room and flopped onto the sofa. It was at that point I ran upstairs, brushed my teeth, sorted my makeup and took my bag downstairs. I grabbed my lunch and left without so much as a word to my mother and took a slow stroll down the road to the bus stop. I took a deep breath as I sat down on the horrible plastic seat, looking across the road as the same boys from the other day rode and ran along the street like they usually did. I sighed and looked down at the ground, kicking at stones and glass shards that littered the ground.

There was always so much litter around the bus stop I waited at. It was one of the reasons I hated living in the area I did. It was a mess. The windows of the shelter were scratched to the extent that you could barely see through it and even then there was so much graffiti you didn't want to look at them anyway. And I don't mean that really cool kind that should be legal; I mean the horrible kind that makes people get the wrong idea about street art. I didn't know there were so many ways to spell the word 'fuck'.

I frowned as I saw my bus coming up the street. Glancing at the time on my phone, I realised that it had shown up early for once. Of all the days I didn't want it to show up it had to show up freaking early… Showing the driver my pass, I took my seat at the back of the bus and ignored the world by sticking in my headphones and staring resolutely out of the window.

The only good thing about being on an early bus was the fact that Lovina wouldn't be getting on the same bus as me. I know that that sounds really bad, but at that moment in time I just didn't want to see anyone. Not even her. I wanted to put off being around those people for as long as possible because the twisting sensation in my stomach was growing to such extremes that I feared I was going to throw up right over the guy in the seat in front of me. The bus ride was long and jerky, the whole thing clattering along as the driver seemed to be incapable of driving in a straight line. He kept hitting the curb and braking suddenly when he realised that he was going way too fast and was almost ramming the cars in front of him. My stomach was doing summersaults and all I wanted was to get off of this death trap and curl away somewhere quiet to prolong having to be near other human beings.

Social anxiety was something that never really affected me until Alfred's accident. When he went into the coma it felt like a little bit of me had gone with him, and a greater chunk had flown away to wherever it was my father was now… But then I discovered that stupid power and I felt even worse. I could do amazing things for people, but I also knew that people were horrible. You see something amazing happening, you hear of someone with a gift and the first reaction you have is to ogle at them. You try to see for yourself what's so special and sometimes when that thing is beyond what you were expecting, you get scared and that gift then turns into a curse all because public opinion changed. It is so easy to rally a mob for the wrong reasons and takes something incredible to bring out the good in people, but I knew that if my powers were ever discovered then I would only bring on the bad mobs and that terrified me even more.

Hence why I kept myself in the background. I stopped going swimming and competing because it put me in the spotlight. I stopped going out in large groups just in case I couldn't control the gift and got caught. I just stopped having a life because I knew that the one person I could actually talk to about this was lying in a hospital bed with no definite time that they would wake up…

Rushing off of the bus and out into the fresh air was a relief. The storm from before the weekend was gone and the sunshine was back out in full force. The sky was a stunning shade of blue and the light breeze was enough to keep the sun from being unbearably hot. The weather presenter on the news that morning had warned that the next week was going to bring in the beginning of a late heatwave that was meant to last for a fortnight. Fat chance of that happening, but the heat was definitely building…

I hurried around the side of the building and into the entrance beside the back car park. It was still very early and not many people were yet much to my delight. I walked down the hallway to the classroom and found that it was locked so knocked on the door for the tech support people and got the door opened. I went over to the seat I had claimed the other day and turned on the Mac. Nothing for Media students was blocked which was a very good plus, so I sat around playing random games on the Internet for a little while until I heard the door open and shut. Bracing myself, I turned around to see who it was that had joined me only to see that it was Arthur who once again had his guitar bag with him. He looked at me awkwardly as he made his way over to the seat beside mine, setting his guitar against the table in the middle of the room and sitting backwards on the seat so that he was leaning with his arms folded on the backrest.

His eyes were the first thing I really noticed about him. Well, his right eye… The bruising from where I had hit him was worse than it had been on Friday. It wasn't exactly a black eye but it still looked horrible. I could feel myself starting to stare at it so sighed and looked back at Happy Wheels…

"It's not really all that bad," Arthur said.

"Huh?"

"My eye," he said, smiling a little. "It stings a little but it's nothing compared to some of the bruises I've gotten from my older siblings in the past. You know, my little sister Sophie decided that she wanted to throw a really big rock into the ocean one time when we went to the beach. Only she wanted to throw it overhead and I was sat on the beach a way behind her. The rock slipped out of her fingers and flew backwards and caught me straight in the eye."

"So that was why you came into school like that," I said, remembering the day he had come back into the classroom in Year Six after a bank holiday weekend with a swelling black eye. "You looked like you'd been beat up…"

"I nearly beat up Sophie," he chuckled. "But she freaked out when she saw me on the ground so I calmed down enough to make sure she was okay… I thought she'd learnt her lesson until we went back there the year after and she did it again. Only this time my reflexes were better and I got out of the way… but the rock hit an old lady on the leg and her husband was not happy with us…."

I laughed. It was the first time in a while that I had openly laughed like that and it felt weird that it was Arthur who'd caused it. I calmed myself down and cleared my throat a little. "Still, I'm sorry for the bruise…"

"And I'm still sorry I said what I did," Arthur said, raising his eyebrows at me. His expression was earnest. "I had no right."

I was about to reply when the door opened against and a group of people walked into the room. A few were people in the class who looked at Arthur and I and muttered to themselves whilst glancing none too subtly at us. I could feel my cheeks heating up in frustration. The others were Lovina, Maria and Sakura. Lovina was focused on a conversation she was having with Sakura so didn't appear to see me as she walked along the aisle towards her seat. Either that or she was ignoring me. Self-deprecating thoughts started to flow through my mind until I saw Maria look right at me and hastily make her way over to me. I couldn't read her expression and to tell you the truth, I was a little frightened at that moment... She stopped beside us and shot Arthur a surprisingly dark look then turned to me.

"How're you feeling today, Amie?" she asked. "He's not been a dick while we've not been here, has he?"

"I'm okay..." I replied, feeling too much like a deer in headlights. "And he's not done anything..."

"I could have beat him to a pulp on Friday," she said. "When I heard what he'd said from Lovina... She almost got her hands on him herself. Wish we had now... But she sent him off to find you instead. Honestly, what sick fuck wishes someone's comatose brother dead?!"

"I didn't..." Arthur started to argue but silenced at the ice in Maria's eyes.

"He didn't," I said. Lovina looked over at us finally when she heard me.

"You're defending him?! But he said-"

"He said that Alfred wasn't going to be jumping back into life anytime soon," I said, looking at her earnestly to get her to listen to me. She stared at us. "I thought he had wished him dead too, but he didn't. Alfred's not waking up yet. That's all he said. And it's true... As much as Alfred is making progress, there's not been enough to warrant him waking up any day soon..."

"He was still a cock," Lovina huffed, folding her arms and glaring at Arthur who had not only shrunk on his seat a little but had started to watch me with an expression I couldn't place. I really needed to get better at reading people…

"He was and he's going to pay for it," I said. "But I shouldn't have hit him and we don't have to chastise him because he knows he's done wrong. Holding grudges is stupid. There is no garuntee that we'll get another shot at life when the one we have at this moment in time is over and there's enough hatred in the world as it is… We're in college. We have two years and then we have a pretty big future ahead of us. Why waste this time hating each other?"

"You're a bigger person than me then," Maria said, a small smile playing around her lips. "I'd make him pay through the nose for what he's done and still not forgive him if he ever did that to me."

"Alfred is my main reason," I shrugged. "His life is in the balance and Arthur was right that I shouldn't waste my own. He went about it in completely the wrong way and as I keep saying, I will be making him pay but who knows how long we all have left? I could die today, tomorrow or way off in the future… Why spend that time hating?"

"God she can get poetic sometimes," Lovina said, rolling her eyes. She smirked at me and I laughed. She chuckled too but then sighed. "Okay, so what you're suggesting is just… letting this go?"

"Precisely," I smiled. Maria nodded and clapped me on the shoulder.

"You're hanging out with us at break and lunch, okay?" she grinned. "And if he does anything remotely stupid, call me over and I'll smack him." She looked round as Antonio walked into the room. "I'm gonna go over and get started with Antonio."

With that she walked way. Lovina took her seat beside me and turned on her Mac, glancing at me every so often. I didn't really know what to say and was very conscious of the looks I was getting from people around the room. Francis was looking over at me every so often and I knew what an arsehole he could be some days… I could just feel the judgement washing over me from all corners of the room.

I didn't care if people thought that I was making a stupid decision and at the same time I did. It was my life, my choices. No one, not even in all the stories I've read, ever makes the correct decision all the time. But it's still theirs to make. Should Dumbledore have sent Harry back to the Dursley's each summer when he knew full well the abuse he had gone through his whole life? No. But he still did. Should Bilbo have told Gandalf about the ring when he discovered it? Yes. But he didn't. No one can ever be perfect and that's something that my generation has forgotten.

I turned to Arthur who had remained in the same position the whole time. He sat up a little when I looked at him, but remained speechless. I was about to divert any conversation on what had just happened and focus on the project when the classroom door opened one last time and June walked into the room. She scanned around briefly before her eyes landed on us and she motioned with one finger for us to follow her outside. When she looked at me, she didn't look happy… Arthur and I glanced at one another before getting up from our seats and leaving the room. She'd gone ahead of us and was stood in the corridor, her arms folded and a stern expression on her face behind her half-framed glasses.

"I want an explanation for your behaviour on Friday, Amelia," she said. "I was told that you hit Arthur round the face and left the building. I can see that was true but I want to know why you did it because you can NOT go around physically harming other students! You are one step away from getting a call home. Any further offenses like this will have you thrown from the course."

"I…" I started to say but Arthur cut me off.

"No, that's completely unfair!" he said. June looked at him surprised. "I asked for it. I antagonised her on Friday. We were at a slump in our work and I suggested working later on at her house after hours to get the last bit of our research done… She had plans to see her brother like she always does at the hospital and I went out of line and said some things I shouldn't have. If anyone deserves a warning, it's me."

"What did you say?" asked June, looking between us.

"Well… her brother's been in a coma for nearly a year and a half and I said he wasn't jumping back into his old life anytime soon, that she shouldn't be wasting her life waiting for him and just a bunch of stuff along those lines…"

"I know I shouldn't have hit him," I said, jumping in now that I had found my voice again. "I misinterpreted some of the things Arthur had said as him wishing Alfred dead and got upset. But he found me and apologised and we're ready to get on with our work… It won't happen again."

"It won't," Arthur said, glancing at me. "I can promise that."

June took a deep breath and sighed. "Honestly…" she muttered. "Are you two really up for working with one another still because if you cause any more disruptions in that classroom…"

"We're fine," we said at the same time.

"Well… okay then," she said, opening the door again and letting us back into the classroom.

* * *

From that point onwards, Arthur and I worked as though there had never been a problem. We spent all of Monday figuring out the last part of our research, taking notes and ensuring that we had all of our points rounded off with enough evidence and reasoning as we possibly could. From Tuesday, we worked on Arthur's Mac completely. As part of his punishment, it was his job to put together the presentation on the slides and make sure it all looked good. Of course, I gave some input and made decisions on colouring and such but it was all on him to get all of our information in the right place with the right animations and images.

No one could really believe that we were getting on so well with the project after what had gone on but I was determined to prove my point. A life full of hate is a pointless life. And as much as I was enjoying taking the piss out of Arthur every so often, it was in a joking way that he gladly returned. There was no talk about his behaviour. We were just two students getting on with a project and starting to get along with one another more than we had done so in nine years.

By lunchtime on Thursday, we could happily say that our presentation was complete. Arthur and I double checked everything from the spelling to the placing of the information. We wanted everything to be one hundred percent in accuracy because it had become a personal mission for both of us to prove everyone around us wrong. The class still talked about the incident and as much as we wanted to ignore it, we just couldn't when people wouldn't let it go. Francis was the main source of the problem – he kept joking about how Arthur was beaten by a girl, trying to poke fun of his black eye even though it was practically all gone now and generally being an arsehole like he usually was. Arthur was getting closer and closer to punching him and as much as I wanted him to, I couldn't let him after all the warnings June had given us about classroom behaviour.

We'd prove him wrong by doing better than him.

At the end of the day, we were given our orders for who would be presenting when on Friday. As it turned out, Arthur and I would be presenting last. That meant that we had all day to sit around and watch everyone else's presentations in a classroom that had no air conditioning. The heat wave had kicked in in full force practically taking away all of the air and turning the classroom in an oven. We nearly fell asleep a couple of times.

When our turn finally came around, we could tell that no one was expecting us to have done much… I could see it in the eyes of our teachers and our classmates and it hurt. Taking a deep breath, I tapped the button on the keyboard to turn to the next slide and began our presentation. We both talked – something that other groups had failed to do. A couple of times, only one person was talking and the others stood around like lemons. But Arthur and I spread our discussion out evenly. He talked about the representation of females in the media and I talked about men. We showed our evidence and engaged the classroom into a debate that I was hoping for but had lost hope in when the week progressed as it had.

We had done it.

With the promises of feedback by the middle of the following week, we were all allowed to leave and did so aiming for shade and any source of fresh air and cold we could find. I was about to follow Lovina when Arthur gently held me back. He smiled at me.

"Well done," he said.

"You too," I replied.

He looked over my shoulder at Lovina waiting for me. I turned and looked to her, giving her a smile and nodding that I'd be over in just a second. "I enjoyed working with you again," said Arthur. "It was nice."

I chuckled. "I enjoyed it too," I agreed.

"You know, some people won't be happy about this," he said, grinning. "I'm a terrible person who shouldn't ever be forgiven, remember."

"Well, people need to get over things," I shrugged. "Everyone does stupid things. Does it really need to be held over our heads what we've done wrong in the past?"

"Sometimes you can't convince everyone," Arthur replied. He glanced at his watch. "I have to get going. Mum actually wants help today and I'm sure you have hospital time planned."

"Uh huh," I smiled. "Lovina and I are going to see him together today."

"I do hope he wakes up," Arthur said. "He was a good guy… An arse when it came to defending you, but I'd do the same for Sophie, Aednat and Scarlet. Hell, I'd even defend Bryn and Ryan."

"Family's family," I chuckled, walking away from him. "See you Monday."

"See you Monday," he replied, walking in the opposite direction.

* * *

_**And after some delay we have a new chapter!**_

_**I'm really glad you guys are enjoying this series and I hope this chapter cleared up things with Arthur. I honestly feel like he's my favourite to develop at the moment just because of how you all reacted. In general he was already but that added to my want to work with these characters more.**_

_**Until next time :)**_

_**(Btw, this is a multi-pair fic if it wasn't obvious already. That element is going to be implemented soon and a topic is going to be discussed that some people may not be comfortable with. I hope you will be able to read through it because it's important.)**_


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